My new life is trying at times. I'm learning how to be a step mother (even though we aren't married), how to control my temper (that's trying), and how to be loved by someone who gives a damn about me. My kids are slowly getting use to having an older brother and a step dad who likes to be a part of their lives. I got hurt yesterday and both of them have asked me how are you doing?
It's trying but I'm learning. He wants me to go back to college which I'm doing. I'm waiting to hear back from UAF so I know if I've been accepted into the program I want to be in. Not having a job is odd also but we are trying to figure this out. I've had a few interviews and I'm waiting to hear back on one job. I really would like to get that job but as I'm told its out of my hands right now.
We are looking at going to Missouri in August for his brother's wedding. I'd be leaving the kids here but I'm sure they will be fine. Me on the other hand will be a nervous wreck I've never been too far away from them. Plus its the opening weekend of my sons football season. Luckily it's an away game and he said it would be fine if I wasn't there as long as I'm back for his first home game. We will be. I think another one of my issues is the fact that I'm going to be meeting his family which is a big thing for me only because I don't know how they will take me. Hopefully well but we will see.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Random thought-Football
My son started playing football 5 years ago and since then I've been the driving force behind him. At one time I thought he was doing it for me but since he started training for high school football I've seen something different in his eyes when it comes to football.
He started off as a rook however his appendix ruptured during the season and he missed a month of games. He was marked the first season by one of his favorite coaches as a center and that hunted him the enter time he played for AYF. The following season we thought that he wasn't going to play due to his lack of enjoyment but he stepped up and showed me that he was ready. It also helped that his cousin M and his uncle D were playing football for our local high school and he saw how much fun they were having. Soon the coaches he had started asking him what he saw when he was on the sidelines and they would listen to him.
During the following 2 years I was the president for the team that he played on that was stressful. Having to deal with bitching parents, rude parents and kids that didn't want to listen to the coaches.
Last year however we lost his father. His last season at AYF was very emotional for all of us. His teammates rallied around him to show their support. Most of the team showed up for the funeral also.
What does the next season hold for us? Who really knows. Hopefully he wont be a center. And I know he'll have more fans in the stands cheering for him. I know that I wont be his only fan he'll have his step dad, his step brother, his uncle, 2 aunts, and maybe just maybe his sister. Lets not forget every high school fan for our school. I'm just hoping that football can get him to college. I'm not looking for him to be a football star in the NFL I just want him to become what he wants to become with the help of football.
He started off as a rook however his appendix ruptured during the season and he missed a month of games. He was marked the first season by one of his favorite coaches as a center and that hunted him the enter time he played for AYF. The following season we thought that he wasn't going to play due to his lack of enjoyment but he stepped up and showed me that he was ready. It also helped that his cousin M and his uncle D were playing football for our local high school and he saw how much fun they were having. Soon the coaches he had started asking him what he saw when he was on the sidelines and they would listen to him.
During the following 2 years I was the president for the team that he played on that was stressful. Having to deal with bitching parents, rude parents and kids that didn't want to listen to the coaches.
Last year however we lost his father. His last season at AYF was very emotional for all of us. His teammates rallied around him to show their support. Most of the team showed up for the funeral also.
What does the next season hold for us? Who really knows. Hopefully he wont be a center. And I know he'll have more fans in the stands cheering for him. I know that I wont be his only fan he'll have his step dad, his step brother, his uncle, 2 aunts, and maybe just maybe his sister. Lets not forget every high school fan for our school. I'm just hoping that football can get him to college. I'm not looking for him to be a football star in the NFL I just want him to become what he wants to become with the help of football.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Random thought-Love
Any one who knows me knows that I've had a hard life. Especially when it comes to love. I got married at 18 to someone I thought I'd be with until we were grandparents but he died on me. After I lost him I thought I would be alone for the rest of my life.
Then I met someone thanks to some of our friends. I never expected to fall in love with someone so quick but when it comes to him its hard not to love him. He's so different from what I've had in the past. He loves to be with me, he loves my kids which I never thought would happen. He goes to there events and sits there with me. He texts me when he's at work and he holds me when I have a nightmare. He went out of his way to help me when I needed it. Hell he's not really a cat person or a big dog person but he was willing to change that just to be with me.
Given we aren't done with his issues with his life and we are far from getting over all of mine but I'm very glad to have him and I know he's glad to have me. We don't know what is going to happen in the future but as long as I have him I know I'll be fine. I know that our friends think that we are so sweet it gives them a toothache but they all know that we are both very happy and very much in love.
Then I met someone thanks to some of our friends. I never expected to fall in love with someone so quick but when it comes to him its hard not to love him. He's so different from what I've had in the past. He loves to be with me, he loves my kids which I never thought would happen. He goes to there events and sits there with me. He texts me when he's at work and he holds me when I have a nightmare. He went out of his way to help me when I needed it. Hell he's not really a cat person or a big dog person but he was willing to change that just to be with me.
Given we aren't done with his issues with his life and we are far from getting over all of mine but I'm very glad to have him and I know he's glad to have me. We don't know what is going to happen in the future but as long as I have him I know I'll be fine. I know that our friends think that we are so sweet it gives them a toothache but they all know that we are both very happy and very much in love.
Random thought-Kids
My kids are my life. And with in the last few months my life has been turned upside down. We lost their father who at one point in time I loved but he lost that when he started doing drugs and cheating on me (totally different blog). We have moved to a new house with a new family which is so nice. I'm getting a step-s0n who fights right into our family just like his dad. But back to my kids.
My son has started weight lifting for the high school team and all I hear from him is my legs hurt or my back hurts. But he can manage to stay up til midnight everynight with his step-brother talking. Then he'll give my lip about being tired. He finally got a girlfriend in the past few weeks and I see him with his phone more then I see him without it. It's strange
My daughter is my daughter. She's 11 going on 16 for anyone who knows what its like having a preteen girl then they know what I'm talking about. One minute she's nice and sweet than the next she's crying and telling us that we don't love her. It has been very confussing. Throw in the fact that she was a daddy's little girl it makes it worse.
I'm also raising my 16 year old sister and she's not making my life any easier. We are working on getting her a job and a car but she makes sure I'm just as busy as the other 2 do.
With out my kids my life would be pretty boring.
My son has started weight lifting for the high school team and all I hear from him is my legs hurt or my back hurts. But he can manage to stay up til midnight everynight with his step-brother talking. Then he'll give my lip about being tired. He finally got a girlfriend in the past few weeks and I see him with his phone more then I see him without it. It's strange
My daughter is my daughter. She's 11 going on 16 for anyone who knows what its like having a preteen girl then they know what I'm talking about. One minute she's nice and sweet than the next she's crying and telling us that we don't love her. It has been very confussing. Throw in the fact that she was a daddy's little girl it makes it worse.
I'm also raising my 16 year old sister and she's not making my life any easier. We are working on getting her a job and a car but she makes sure I'm just as busy as the other 2 do.
With out my kids my life would be pretty boring.
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