WTF

WTF I start a group on Facebook to help families cope with the loss of their unborn babies and instead of anyone but my husband and I posting no one is interested. I'm so hurt right now. I mean most of the people we know had lost their babies along time ago but sometimes talking if you are having a bad day would be nice. I have bad days all the time since I lost the baby but I don't want to bug everyone with it. I know talking about it is hard for W as it is for me. But sometimes I need the out lit one that isn't me making him feel bad because we lost the baby. I need to talk to people who have gone thru this. I never have and I don't think he has either but damn people if I take the time to set the shit up then help me by looking at it!! I'm sick of this. It's like my blogs no one ever reads them. I'm not sure why I even do them any more!!

Lost

I've been lost the past few months. Ever since I lost our baby I don't know what to do or what I feel. I put a smile on my face and pretend that everything is ok with me. I know my husband sees that something is wrong & I know that he & my friends are trying to make me feel better but nothing seems to be working. They just can't seems to snap me out of it. I've read books & blogs saying that you never get over a miscarriage and they are right. I'm pretty sure that my father in law who I love and admire is beside himself trying to figure out how to help me. My parents to be honest with you could give a flying f*ck less about me. It has always been that way. My children are all about themselves but what do I expect from teenagers. I know that my husband is trying to find ways to cope with our loss & I know that he is getting a tattoo to remember the baby & I am grateful to him for that. I know that it's his way to feel better about the loss. I also know that he's trying to help me in away but his way isn't going to help me. I need to find my own way to deal with our loss...

Ever

Ever wonder what will happen? I do all the time. My husband likes to think that my wondering/worrying about what I can't change or can't stop is the cause of all of my health issues. I've always been like this. I really can't help it. I mean with parents like mine how could you? I would like to say that I got put on this Earth for some reason other then being a mom/sister to my brother and sister and a mom to my kids.
Ever wonder what YOU are suppose to be? I don't want to be the wrong thing but lately I'm starting to think that both of my degrees were a waste of my time. If I could write all the time I would. I really love writing.
Ever wonder where you fit in? I do that too. I have a new family mixing with my old. My kids know to respect me and what I say but my stepson doesn't have a clue. Yes he has an illness but common since says if you are told to get up and do something DON'T PISS OFF MOM!! It bugs me. I have friends who think that "talking" to me about what my daughter tells them will help my relationship with her. Sometimes it does sometimes it pisses me OFF!! Leave us be. We aren't perfect but neither are you and your daughter. Back to my new family where is my spot? I mean really? I know my husband loves me with all of his heart but where do I stand? I mean his ex got a new car before she cheated on him. I get nothing. Oh wait I got an awesome ring and a tranny for MY TAHOE that my DEAD husband bought me. I'm so tired of being broke and stressed it's getting old. I'm already stressing about our big move next year but that's a whole other story or actually blog. Well that's all for now. Not like anyone is going to read this...

Stressed!!

Stress SUCKS!! I'm so sick of stressing over money, no job, food, and the wedding it's not funny. I'm very surprised that I haven't had such a bad migraine. I love having W's parents here I really do but A's little I'm holier than thou attitude SUCKS too. I'm tired of hearing yeah mommy or I'm going to tell grandpa. Enough is enough I am the mom!! What I say goes! The wedding is Saturday and we don't have the money to pay for it!! My little unemployment check is going to cover the wedding location but we still have to pay for the cake and the little bit of food, the plates, the cups and other stuff!! I'm fed F-ing Up with all of it. I'm fighting with W because stuff isn't going right for us AGAIN!! I'm tired, I'm stressed, and I want to leave!!

Major Stupid teen vent

Ok I'm done!! My stupid cousin got pregnant and all I hear about on her facebook is oh the baby is making me sick, the baby is making me tired, oh I wish the baby was here. First off you shouldn't have gotten pregnant the second you turned 18 you shouldn't be engaged to the moron that's brother is causing issues for your mom!!

My other cousin has nothing but bitching on her posts. Yes life is hard but we do not care if you got carded for smokes!! Your only 20 get your head out of your ass!! And so help me if I find out your smoking with your 1 year old in the house I'm going to kick your ass!

I've never been so fed up with stupid teens or screw it the 20 year old is a teen cause she can't grow up and deal with her life. You both need to walk a mile in my shoes then we'll talk you little brats!!