Why??

Why can't I cry? I have known you for so long. We went through alot together and you were always like a brother. I close my eyes at night and I hear your voice I know your sister does too. You were there when I needed help. Hell you gave me money to get my kids food when their dad disappeared for a week. I know you are in a better place but you left a giant hole in our lives. I'm going to have a hard time actually believing your gone. I am not suppose to be older then you!! And once I turn 36 (in 2 years) I will be. I hate that. I hate knowing that you will never know your youngest son or hold your grandchildren when the boys have some. I felt the same way when Cliff & Scott died. But you were special. We love ya and yo will always be on our minds.